1999 – Oil on masonite – 24″ x 31.75″
For many years I refused to acknowledge what had happened to me. When I could no longer hide from it I began to tell myself “okay – it happened, but it didn’t affect me at all.” I held onto this illusion as long as I could, but inevitably, it began to crumble, as the broken remains of the wall demonstrates. In fact, the abuse totally and profoundly affected my entire life, to the very foundation of my being. I finally realized that was why I have never been able to sustain a relationship, why I always forced people away when they got too close. I had unintentionally become antisocial and hard, and this realization hurt terribly, as symbolized by the blood.